Boy..cheer up

Today...(29/3/2010) MONDAY...i went back see wc. It is already two days the incident happen and i only able to go and see him now. Before i meet him, i sms him whether he is around. And he told me that he is in his room all the time and wont go anywhere. So, i just tell him that i will go visit him right after my class finish.

So, my class finish around 12noon. But, later i join my coursemate for lunch before visit him.(although that time my heart is felt like want to see him nOw.) After finish lunch, is already 1pm. then, i only go find him.

On the way, i am thinking of how bad is him? How he feel? Is he better?......So, just a minutes, i already reach his room. so,as usual i just like normal go back to my room( as we stay in the same room). When i enter the room, he is watching drama. Then, he saw me. He make a smile at me. He couldn't make a big smile. just a small smile. Then, i saw there is a big wound at the side of his mouth. A 3cm long wound with 10 stitches at his right face- from the angle of the mouth down to the mandible. There was others tiny superficial laceration around the face. My heart was in pain, i just want to hug him...(but i dint). so, i just look at him closer and look at the wound. He also look very pale. (can u imagine how a person look when lost 2L of blood in 1 hours?) That time, i pretend to look at his palm. (actually i want to hole his hand and give the warmness to him). I just hold a while.

then i just sit down and we start to chat. I ask him is he felt pain? He said nO. The, i ask is he ok? is he felt ok? Then he tell me how the accident happen. Then, tell me that he felt very guilty bc his careless and cause his gf and the gals who sit his car injured. He tell me that he make so many people mafan. From the words, i can feel that he is blaming himself. SO, i just console him. Try to ask him to think positively. DOnt think so much...... (p/s: that time i so wish to hug with him so that he can felt better). But i dint.

what can i do is listen.....and share with him what i think. ( although there is many things i can do, but i dont dare to do, bc i knoe that there wont be any result from us....sorry boy...really sorry for doing nothing to u...and my heart felt pain...)
then, i just told him the problem i facing ( i have 'you2 yu4 zhen4'(in chinese)and i tell him how i face and looking for answer. so that can help him much in facing his prob. Then, he console back me also. But, do you know what he tell me?

He said: u need to knoe the problem u face and if can try to solve the problem.

That time i was thinking: omg...my prob is because i love you...and if i tell you, you can help me solve the problem? haiz...and i just smile at him.

so...the conversation last abt 2 hours. Actually i need to meet my other friends at 3pm for badminton. Although i wish to stay back to talk to him......but i kNoe...the longer i stay, the more i suffer. I told myself since last sat, i need to let go. So finally, i decide to left at 3.15pm. And that's all for our meet.

so, as usual i went back my home which is 15 min from the uni. (Just for ur information, i dint stay in hostel in this recent 3 weeks.) and do you know what happen? at night...around 830pm...HIs gf find me. She ask me how is he? she told me that just now he cry in from of her. and she told me that she dont knowwhat to do to help him. ( i was thinking......is he ok? what happen?.....)so, i just ask the gal to console him and stay beside him n take care of him. And teach her how to do. She wish that i can go back the hostel to look after him. ( i was thinking...i just start to let go but you want me to do this?) haiz......i am very confuse...confuse...should i go? i really have no idea......

Eventually, i just ask her to take care him. bc i know that if i go back, i also cant help much. He need her and not me. i just can be a friend beside him (as he think). And as friend, i sure will still concern him. i will try to cheer him up. Because i really made him as my best friend. And somemore there still plenty of friend to cheer him up. so, i wont be worry so much.

Lastly, hope that he recover faster and cheer up boy...!!!

p/s: i like to call him as boy actually....