I hate....

today 15/11/2010 monday

I felt sad today. My father finally make another problem again. He make another borrow money from my mum. I really felt disappointed with him this time. Last time RM3000, now RM 5000. I dont like this situation. But, he just ask for a hurry. It was for the lousy business he doing. There was no profit business. Everytime spent and throw money inside without any payback. My mother hardly earn money was like that used by him. He was borrow money from along somemore. How could this happen now!!!!

The whole day was good until he came back. He is a drinker and smoker which i hate most. Since i was 16 years old, he started to become like that. The condition is getting worst. I really sick of him. When he can behave better? I really did not hope much from him. Today i have a talk with him. Ask him to close his business and declare bankrupt. But, he don't want. My heart was firing. But, i need to pretend understandable. I cannot outburst my anger. I knew he would not tell me more if i scolded or quarrel with him. He would not listen to me if we are not understand him. But, how should i advice him? What action should i take to solve this problem? Am i responsible all this?

I am the only son. Besides me, who will help him ? the only one is me. My dear tell me before, no matter what happen, he is your father. You will need to take care of him no matter what. This is the words appear in my mind that always make me calm and reduce my fire.

And now, i am incharging all this. I need to make sure he will repay my mum money. I need up to date all the things now. I really felt that is time for me to take over all the responsible. I need to tell myself not to throw the heavy burden to my mum alone. I don't want my mum suffer anymore. And i have to tell myself i can do it.
I CAN DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pls remember : EVERYTHING COME WITH A GOOD PURPOSE

p/s: Thanks dear for calling me the right moment and right time. I really felt realise after talking to you. Hope you get well soon and will meet again if there is free time la. Take care !!!