15-7-2010 9.37am
Today was a bad morning. Cant sleep well for the whole night. It was disturbed by the alarm. Ringing the whole night. Then, nightmare was wonder around my mind. Heard the sound of the schizophrenic people talking to me. Wonder why the night was so terrible?
My heart felt uncomfortable. WOnder to phone him this morning to tell him all this. But, fail to do that. YEsterday, he told me the same thing again. And i know that there will be something wrong again. Is he going to leave me soon? Is he trying to give signal to me that he dont want me? or am i too troublesome him and cause him irritating?
This morning i found out that what happen if one day i really dont have him anymore. I will feel like empty like this morning. I cant concentrate to listen to my lec this morning. The mind is keep thinking of him. But, not dare to phone him bc i know that he will leave me one day and i want to train to live by myself. But....the heart feel want to cry. Tearing running around my eye......It was hard.
How? i really dont know............
have some rest.. just do watever things u wan.. if u wan to call him, then call him.. who knows he might be waiting for ur call as well?? dun think too much..
ReplyDelete